How do you feel when your colleague comes to your desk and says it loudly - "You did a good Job" buddy. You know that it may not necessarily convert into monetary benefit , still you feel valuable and probably will return the same compliment to him at appropriate time. When your organization recognizes you for your work , when your manager appreciates you in a large meeting, when you are recognized at home for making a good dish , how do you feel ? Surely the words of appreciation once spoken , bring lots of positive energy both sides.
Then what is stopping you from appreciating others ? The mindset is the main stopper in appreciating others :
- He/She may get advantage like monetary benefits , I will be left behind in appraisals.
- How can I accept that the other person is doing better than me , after all I am the best, no one else can go past me.
- I never got appreciation for my good work, so how can I appreciate others.
- What appreciation, Its part of the job, that's what they are paid for.
- He/She will become more respectful than me.
I did an experiment on Appreciation to know how does appreciating others bounces back on me and how does the team behaves with me. I chose my team , every Thursday I appreciated 2 colleagues for their work in front of the whole group including the director, giving specific reason as why I wanted to give a thumbs up to them even for the work that was part of their job.If I took help from other team, I ensured that the person was recognized in front of his manager and the group. I continued this practice for 2 months. I observed 3 main behaviors from the team :
1) Most of the people (approx 80%) whom I appreciated felt great and they became my good friend. They probably felt favored and today I can get any work done from them on priority any time , whatever their priorities be. They started spreading good words about me, I was surprised when I got the same feed back from my boss. My boss continued noticing that I was spreading positive energy in the team.
2) A few (approx 10%) returned me the appreciation in front of the group by appreciating me.
3) Remaining (10%) were those who were reluctant and kept mum , probably they are still in surprise state of mind.
You yourself can interpret the above results,who was the ultimate gainer.
I have seen people appreciating in isolation in a closed room ,while when its time to pull legs , its an open war. Its a blunder. Refrain yourself from such practice. You will surely make lots of enemies. Remember, appreciation , to be meaningful , should happen open-hearted and always in public , however feedback should be given one-on-one , in a closed room.