Perception & Prejudice

Perception is individualistic by nature. When one doesn't know others, one makes a fictitious image based on the produced and gathered information from various sources, one doesn't really know how authentic those information are, still its human nature to associate a face with the words. You may have got chance to meet a person and the way the person behaved under that time's prevailing circumstances, you typecast him or her either good or bad ,  Later , you realized that it was too early to form a perception about him or her. Sometimes, people become so judgmental that they start giving their verdict on the person knowingly or unknowingly framing the target according to their convenience. Static perception also generates prejudice and a resident fear about each other that becomes a big hindrance in amalgamation.

Let's take an example from our day to day life then we will generalize it for a corporate team - Consider a family where a daughter-in-law does complain about her mother-in-law and vice versa. Each of them generally have framed the other in a specific way and that perception never goes away , despite the circumstances would have changed well. Both of them probably spend hardly one week together in a year , very less chance to know each other, but they generally become judgmental with their limited knowledge and know-how about each other , produce verdicts and start predicting other's behavior in a given situation (prejudice). The resident fear inside them build's wall between them that continues to grow.

In corporate world, the main problem in building a good team is the resident static perception about each other , prejudice and being judgmental about others. Personality is largely determined by the person's history ,past life ,  family background , education , aspirations and social ecology.Once you know these details , you can easily co-relate the behavior of the person and also predict the person's behavior in different circumstances.This is the reason why corporate worlds are full of liquid party nights. My personal experience is that if you spent quality time in knowing each other better in these party, have lunch together in the office premise, have coffee break together , you start building good personal relationships with your colleagues, it ultimately helps a lot in the professional career.

We all are Human beings and by property we all have multiple disorder within us like hatred , Jealousy ,  sorrow, anger  etc. These disorders also play very important role when we form a perception and become judgmental . Let's be aware of it and control ourselves, Let's understand the change dynamics - only change is constant with time. Let us be more careful before forming a perception and let there be room to accept change resulting in a dynamic rolling perception. Let us give another chance to ourselves to start the next inning afresh without any prejudice. Let us promise with our soul to become a good human , a good life will automatically follow.

Right First Time

Why people don't do right thing when they are exposed to a problem very first time (It doesn't apply to all but yes a good number of people fall in this category , so beware of such people ) -  I did a survey in one of my previous organizations , and the responses I got are listed below:

1) Boss will not understand the pain I went through since everything was done right first time.
2) Boss may think that this was easy to do so I will miss appreciation.
3) Boss may give more work to me if I do everything right , its a penalty for me.
4) Let the things go wrong first time, let them escalate and become critical, then I will jump in , solve it and become hero. I and my friend do it for each other.

In my survey , I found very few people responding positively that if they do things right first time,  they will be called more efficient , trustworthy and valuable to the organisation, though they also complained about missing appreciation. 

Right First Time is attitude ,Its Commitment,  Its Prevention , Preventing Misunderstanding, Preventing non adherence of process , Preventing opportunities of error etc.

Now think about the below scenarios:

a. What if we got our salary credited as 5000/- while it should be 50000/-. (A minor mistake of omission of one zero). [ After all accountant also thought of coming in limelight ] 
b. Would we expect a hospital to deviate and inject wrong medicines to our family members? [ Doctors also have all rights to deny Right First Time ]
c. Would we expect a car mechanic to come every time we have to fill petrol in our car? 

Moral - Get rid of double standards , Do the things Right , right first time. 

Enjoy the below short video from you tube on the subject. Mobile Users CLICK HERE TO WATCH VIDEO.

Now, you are aware what you are doing !!

I Will Appreciate Others

How do you feel when your colleague comes to your desk and says it loudly - "You did a good Job" buddy. You know that it may not necessarily convert into monetary benefit , still you feel valuable and probably will return the same compliment to him at appropriate time. When your organization recognizes you for your work , when your manager appreciates you in a large meeting, when you are recognized at home for making a good dish , how do you feel ? Surely the words of appreciation once spoken , bring lots of positive energy both sides.

Then what is stopping you from appreciating others ?  The mindset is the main stopper in appreciating others :

-  He/She may get advantage like monetary benefits , I will be left behind in appraisals.
-  How can I accept that the other person is doing better than me , after all I am the best, no one else can go past me.
-  I never got appreciation for my good work, so how can I appreciate others.
-  What appreciation, Its part of the job, that's what they are paid for.
-  He/She will become more respectful than me.

I did an experiment on Appreciation to know how does appreciating others bounces back on me and how does the team behaves with me. I chose my team , every Thursday  I appreciated 2 colleagues for their work in front of the whole group including the director, giving specific reason as why I wanted to give a thumbs up to them even for the work that was part of their job.If I took help from other team, I ensured that the person was recognized in front of his manager and the group. I continued this practice for 2 months. I observed 3 main behaviors from the team :

1) Most of the people (approx 80%)  whom I appreciated felt great and they became my good friend. They probably felt favored and today I can get any work done from them on priority any time , whatever their priorities be. They started spreading good words about me, I was surprised when I got the same feed back from my boss. My boss continued noticing that I was spreading positive energy in the team.
2) A few (approx 10%) returned me the appreciation in front of the group by appreciating me.
3) Remaining (10%) were those who were reluctant and kept mum , probably they are still in surprise state of mind.

You yourself can interpret the above results,who was the ultimate gainer.

I have seen people appreciating in isolation in a closed room ,while when its time to pull legs , its an open war. Its a blunder. Refrain yourself from such practice. You will surely make lots of enemies. Remember, appreciation , to be meaningful , should happen open-hearted and always in public , however feedback should be given one-on-one , in a closed room.

So what are you waiting for , Try this today : Appreciate your wife for the food she prepared , Appreciate your husband for executing his responsibilities well, Appreciate your kid just like that  and feel the difference. Appreciate your colleagues for their good work in front of the team and see them transforming into your friends, after all , who doesn't want to be appreciated in this world. 

Suns Moons and Stars

Have you  been part of those Boring Business Meetings where half of the people don't speak , probably they are not even listening or they are not interested ,speaker failed to create interest in them , they are kind of sleeping. They don't even bother what decision is being made and how will it impact them, they are always in acceptance mode - " I am not interested in your diplomatic logic, just let me know what needs to be done , I will do it".They may have better ideas , suggestions but most of the SUN ( who speaks a lot in the meetings) and MOONS ( ready to capture speaking slots left behind by SUN's) in the meeting already hijacked the meeting and consumed all the time.

A conscious effort to engage the STARS (who generally keeps mum during meetings) actively is a must, my experience is that such people have great ideas , they are shut just because they are not getting chance from the so called Suns and Moons. Ask them - " Mr X , What do you think about this proposal ? What would you suggest ? ". After all , you will loose a person from the discussion if you failed to create interest in the audience , Its all your choice , always keep some magical words floating all around. I have seen people saying after meetings - Oh he doesn't take interest in the meetings, he is generally slept in meetings, he doesn't participate in meetings. I would say, instead of talking in absence, they could have encouraged the person to come up with their thoughts in the meeting it self. So whenever you are hosting a meeting, keep the SUN,MOON and STARS theory in mind.

Take a look at this you tube video that tells 6 secrets of organizing effective meetings.

Change the Word Change the World

Have you seen your colleagues communicating failure information in a very positive manner with a carefully chosen set of words that kind of justifies the miss very diplomatically. Yes , that is the art. It takes some time to adopt that , but it can surely be done. No one want's to listen that - " This can't be done , this is not working , this has created a mess etc.." , instead put them in other words - " Let me do some research and I shall get back to you with facts, It is working fine for 80% cases , for rest of the cases work is in progress, This is a new thing that organization has adopted , employees are getting accustomed for this very fast - Currently we are going through the transitioning phase."   Think about it and try relating it to your work.


It is well said that "Listen more, Speak less". Speaking right is really very difficult. It requires lot of effort in choosing right words. Then the right words have to be in right order to make an effective meaningful sentence. Words are the most powerful weapon , use them carefully.They can make you and break you depending upon how you use. Think before you speak for about 6 seconds, this is the time when your brain will complete the processing of information and can put it in better words.

What you have communicated depends on how listener interprets it. It's speaker's responsibility to ensure that the listener interprets what speaker wanted to communicate exactly with the same intensity. It may create Hell or Heaven if Interpretation went wrong. An example -  You wanted to actually praise your wife ,  feeling romantic today , and spoke "You are looking Gorgeous today". Contrary to your expectation  you got the response from your better half - " Are you teasing me ? Didn't you look at me before , was I not looking good another day ?" . Oh god, you screwed up your evening. 

Look at the below famous video or click here

Take a look at the below Video for simple 15 powerful words or click here :

So , get ready and start using the most powerful words. 

Respect Who You Are.

"I don't have the ability to do it. I haven't worked on it, I am not experienced enough to take up this task.My colleague is more smart and skillful than me , they have several degree and certifications , I am poor , I come from a village background, the other lady is more beautiful than me, bla bla bla ...".Do you feel intimidated ?  When you speak , your voice goes very low, you hesitate in making eye contact with your audience, you try to keep yourself shut as much as possible, you have a fear in speaking since you feel that your voice will not be heard and you may be making mistakes in your speech ...". If you are one of them , this article is for you. 

Most of the people feel intimidated because they are habitual to celebrate others. They have been brought up in the society where they have lost self esteem and confidence. From the very beginning  they are hearing that Other person is Better than them. From the school days , they started hearing that the other boy is getting more marks , they are not, the other comes from a rich family, they are not, The other is influential , they are not , and so on..

Do you think queen of England is most beautiful ? Is she most Rich ? Is she most intellectual in the world or is she most influential in the world ? Neither she is Miss worlds , not she is Bill gates. She is neither a noble winner scientist nor Barack Obama. But she knows what she is. What if she would have come to the ceremony where she has all the great people as her guests and she feels intimidated talking in low voice, keeping her head down, avoiding eye contacts, hesitating in shaking hand ! What will be the image of England ? Does she do that - NO. She knows, she represents the nation, she has been given the honor to do so. The same way, you have been given the honor by the almighty god to do what you are doing. If you fail to do so , will you be able to justify your act to the god? Feel the greatness of your work that you do , never loose self-confidence and self-esteem.

"Fear to fail" is what you have to kick away from your life.if a person does not make mistake, either he is not doing anything or he is a god. Each invention is a baby of a series of failure, an example is the PSLV.

Love yourself, be proud of who you are, be confident, step out of your comfort
zone ... and you will see miracles happening.Don't downplay your ability ,don't underestimate your self. Keep your head high. If you don't have confidence in yourself, how will others have it on you? Don't be intimidated, Sell yourself high, Let the others know that you have enormous amount of potential.You are the god's creation. You have specific specialties that other's don't. Feel like a king and live a big life , You will certainly become what you pretend to be.

Look at the below video how he explains the importance of self confidence  - Its up to you,  Be what you want to be.